I wrote a new story for slacktory called “Haters Gonna Hate.” It’s an autobiographical story I wrote three years ago when I was trying to become a screenwriter in Los Angeles. I had some moderate success. I sold two scripts to a dead ant with a goatee in exchange for the crust around the end of a tube of toothpaste. I am very proud of all the scripts I described in this story. I think all of them would make very good movies even if they starred a chipmunk and all the movies were called “Chipmunk$ Four.” If I was Tobey Maguire I would think about contacting my agent and making some business decisions. Tobey Maguire could benefit from my tutelage. If anyone knows Tobey Maguire you should tell him to take the Continuing Education class I’m teaching this fall in “Fiction Writing.”