A new site just started called slacktory. I am one of their contributors. I am not quite sure what my duties are, but I am paid a rookie salary of $414,000 per article. Sometimes I write something and send it to the editor and he pays me in fig newtons. I will probably have a lot of fig newtons soon. Other times I write something and send it to the editor and he pats me on the head. Most of the things I write will probably be prefaced because most of my writings start in crazy town and then end up deep in the funnel of a mouth that has been surgically implanted into the fake eyeballs of an animal that tastes like twinkle puffs. Sometimes when the editor pats me on the head he says, “I really like you because you never write what I assign.” My first contribution is a review/story about the movie hesher. The editor had asked me to write something about a site called okcupid. Everything in the review/story is true or about the movie. I also made the graphic when I was on my way down the funnel to twinkle puffs. 

p.s. there is another writer on the site called: “Tom Oatmeal.” He has a hook for a hand.