David Rhode is a serious journalist. He was kidnapped by the Taliban. Then he escaped. He does not look like Rambo. He is a Brown University alum. Yesterday he came to campus to talk about his experience. I think my father would be pretty happy I went to the talk. David Rhode is a pretty amazing guy. His wife is now pregnant. I am happy for the two of them. I think I would impregnate my wife if I escaped from the Taliban. I think it is important to spread his genes. I hope they make a movie about his experience. They could call it Ivy League Rambo. The guy who plays him in the movie could even shoot some students from Yale with a machine gun. Opening credits, David Rhode walks onto Yale campus and begins shooting Yale students, then David Rhode would wake up and realize he was still imprisoned by the Taliban. This would be a pretty awful movie. I’d like to see it. I think Nicolas Cage should play David Rhode. They could maybe even call it National Treasure III. The real David Rhode probably thinks this is an awful idea for a movie. He’s probably right. I like being wrong. While we’re on the subject of being wrong let’s talk about suicide bombers. They do some very bad things. David Rhode said many of the Taliban soldiers talked about suicide bombing the USA. In one sense that’s pretty fucked up. On the other hand, I’m always telling people that I’m going to punch Yale MFA in the face. So, yeah, maybe Taliban soldiers sitting around telling each other how many times they want to suicide bomb the USA is similar to Brown MFA students sitting around talking about punching Yale MFA in the face. To end on a lighter note, a girl from my Spanish class sat in front of me during the David Rhode talk. She was sitting next to her young lover. This made me happy. I never thought she would have a young lover. She’s very shy in class and only talks about doing homework and in the most honest sense is a little on the plain side, but it looks like she still found herself a young lover. The world is pretty fucked up and beautiful.
