Steps (1-10) on how to write a book:

1. Be human.

2. Feed yourself.

3. Breathe oxygen.

4. Sleep.

5. Talk to something that will record will record your words.

6. Do something else.

7. Continue talking to something that will record your words.

8. Call your mother on your birthday.

9. Eat something you shouldn’t like a donut or a small calf or an ostrich egg.

10.  Brush your teeth and send a postcard to your mother telling her you brushed your teeth.