Dear Job People,

I would like you to feed me a job because I am hungry for a sense of being productive. Sometimes I get carried away and eat all my roommates food because he does not like eating his own food. I am not exactly sure what your company does. I like all the twinkles on your website. I have looked at every twinkle. I would like to add to your twinkles. For the last twenty-eight years I have been creating nothing but twinkles. Please pay me to be your twinkler. If you do not have a need for a twinkle machine then maybe you have a need for someone to water your lawn. If you don’t have a lawn then maybe you would like to buy a pallet of sod from me and my friends. We install office sod in urban locations. No one has quite done what we have done because we haven’t even done it yet. You should be our first customer. If I had my own business it would be called “the laundry mat,” but there would be only one washing machine. Between the hours of six a.m. and ten a.m. we would sell smoothies that were blended in a converted industrial dryer that would be capable of mixing large quantities of health beverages. From ten a.m to eleven a.m. the business would focus on haircuts. From eleven a.m. to two p.m. I would make eleven dozen pizzas and sell them to the lunch crowd. From two p.m. to midnight the business would be converted into a television studio to broadcast a live talk show called “the laundry man.” All urban lawns and sod work would be done on the weekends. I hope you are interested in my business proposal. Either invest in me or give me a job at your company.

The end.

Mark