At my first office holiday cocktail party I played karate with the photographer’s camera. I ate spicy chocolate and then chased the younger children under the copying machine. When we played hide and seek I hid in a nondenominational paper rosette and clogged the water jar with lemon slices. The guests thanked me so I clicked their lick of pastrami then clogged a toilet with limes. A baby asked me if was Freddie Mercury’s girlfriend.