I do not have the internet at my apartment and there are no open wireless networks within range. When I go home at night all I have to look forward to is adding to the compost bucket I keep under the sink. Sometimes I take three showers after work because I don’t know what else to do. Last night, I looked at a wall for a few hours because I convinced myself that everything is the internet and as a result the wall was actually a new form of web 4.0. I got hungry after all my brain movements so I tried to make some internet out of food products. It was pretty much a failure. I filled a salsa jar with half a banana, half a cup of coconut water, one tbsp of ground flaxseed, two tbsp of brown rice protein powder, one tbsp of carob powder, and two cups of almond milk. Then I put the lid on the salsa jar and shook it. When it was shook I drank it. My mouth and body appreciated the taste, but my brain was sad because it did not taste like the internet.