September 2011
9 posts
I do not have the internet at my apartment and there are no open wireless networks within range. When I go home at night all I have to look forward to is adding to the compost bucket I keep under the sink. Sometimes I take three showers after work because I don’t know what else to do. Last night, I looked at a wall for a few hours because I convinced myself that everything is the internet and as ...
I sat in whole foods yesterday for a few hours and finished reading Cornbread McMuffin’s Blood Meridian. I ate some potato salad and some tofu. When I finished I went in the bathroom and cut my hair. When I finished I went home and fell asleep at 7:30.
On Friday, the train I was on from Boston to Providence was delayed because someone died.
After the train stopped the passenger sitting next to me said, “I hope we didn’t hit someone.”
I remember feeling the train brake and then the sound of something scraping along the bottom of the train before the train could stop itself. At first I thought we had hit a branch or a large...
3 tags
Yesterday, my brother visited from Antarctica. I had not seen him since he kissed a polar bear two years ago. We went to a sports pub and ate sweet potato fries and talked about facebook. We both expressed our desire not to swell up with the aging crowd of people known as overweight Americans who are going to be thirty soon. A few times a waitress talked to us in a nice voice because she got paid...
I have a new story published at Spork Press. I wrote it when I used to play for the Cincinnati Bengals. I was the third string quarterback behind Boomer Esiason and Rick Flakegin. One time Boomer Esiason invited me and Rick Flakegin over to his house to eat raisins, but when we got there one of Boomer Esiason’s kids slapped a telephone pole and got a splinter so Boomer Esiason wouldn’t...
Last night I spent too much money at a place that can no longer afford to take money from people. I bought over seven thousand pages of words. So far, I have only read nine sentences from all these pages. Still, I feel pretty good about my purchases. When I got home last night I was so excited about my new books that I threw them at myself and laughed.
I wrote a new story for slacktory called “Haters Gonna Hate.” It’s an autobiographical story I wrote three years ago when I was trying to become a screenwriter in Los Angeles. I had some moderate success. I sold two scripts to a dead ant with a goatee in exchange for the crust around the end of a tube of toothpaste. I am very proud of all the scripts I described in this story....
I live in a new house and it is called "Amanda"
I live in a new house. I don’t have internet. My phone has the internet. I am trying to plug my phone into my computer right now, but it probably won’t work so I will just go to bed at nine p.m.
