February 2011
10 posts
Today I met with some more people at Brown to deal with an escalating situation. The people that I met with really wanted to be thorough and discuss a number of topics involving me, but I had a very busy schedule so I told them that the meeting would have to be brief. The people at Brown did not like the sound of this brief meeting, but I was very persuasive. The meeting did not last more than two...
4 tags
Today I sat down with the President of Brown University, Ruth Simmons (pictured above, photo taken shortly before our sit down). We talked in length about the ethics behind many of my decisions and about my conduct on the internet. She said that a few students had raised concerns about my techniques in the classroom and one student even worried that I would harm them physically with a chainsaw....
2 tags
I wrote a story about emma watson
The story was published at Urlesque. It is called: My date with Emma Watson. I have never gone on a date with Emma Watson. If you are expecting to read about a date with Emma Watson you will probably be disappointed. The story mostly talks about sandwiches, gentrification, shirts, and a fat bald man. If you are familiar with Urlesque then you’ll know they don’t usually publish stories...
Recently, I realized I got plenty of lettuce. Half my refrigerator is lettuce. Last week when I went to a craft fair someone gave me a free sample of dressing because I think they heard I had so much lettuce. I asked them what it tasted like and they just nodded and said, “This is the real juice. You are going to love this new sweat.” If I knew a farmer I would show him the biggest...
Two blonde men and the grown boy
Andrew Bourne and I did a performance at the opening of the new art center at brown. Above is a picture from the performance. Andrew and I are the ones in the blonde wigs. The grown boy between us isn’t actually human. He was made out of foam.
photo by Liz Love
I started a retirement portfolio investment...
If you send me $1 I will send you a photocopy of two $1 bills that I might eventually send you.
If you send me $2 then I will send you two photocopies of a $5 bill that I might send to you.
If send me an ice cream bar in an envelope I will put the envelope in the refrigerator and wait a day and then try to sell the ice cream and if I sell it then I will send you an email telling you how much I...
I went to Washington DC this weekend for something called AWP. For a long time I did not know what AWP stood for and then I found out, but I thought it was stupid so I made myself forgot.
Washington DC is a place like a bunny is a pet.
I walked around a hotel for an hour. Then I went to CVS and bought toothpaste. The woman behind the counter tried to make small talk so I opened the toothpaste...
I am technically not in the United States
I saw a horse. It was not yellow. I am standing next to the yellow of a fake bowl of soup that a beautiful woman is thinking of eating. No, it was a taxicab, not a bowl of soup. If I forgot what soup was then I might have thought it was a car made of a yellow of an intersection muffin. Earlier today I rode a tunnel. When I climbed off the tunnel I forgot what soup was. I asked a man how much for...
