October 2009
21 posts
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I saw John Updike again and John Wattle was there
There are two people in the above picture. I think the one on the left, playing the guitar, is John Updike. The one on the right is John Wattle. Everyone knows who John Updike is, but everyone should know John Wattle. Every week there is a reading at Brown by a visiting author. After the readings there is usually a reception. John Wattle attends these readings. Sometimes he falls asleep,...
WatchI took this footage at Wendy’s while I finished reading Joe Wenderoth’s book Letter’s to Wendy’s.
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“Sometimes I miss [the crabs]—when I’m lonely, or rather when...”
– Jean-Paul Sarte on his imaginary crabs from Harper’s. (via ‘Aaron’ [name changed for privacy] from workshop)
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WatchOne of the poets invited everyone over to his house to open a piñata. We went over and ate some pork and zucchini. Then Peter Fez showed up in a red sweatshirt.
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An excerpt from "Letters to Wendy's"
“A burger is nothing. A Coke is nothing. A Frosty is nothing. I have dominated nothing.” -Joe Wenderoth Letters to Wendy’s
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“Today the restaurant was filled with warmth, a spirit of caring. The food was...”
– Joe Wenderoth, November 14th 2006, from: Letters to Wendy’s
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“A beautiful woman with a Biggie. Nothing else—just a Biggie. She sat...”
– Joe Wenderoth, November 15th 2006, from: Letters to Wendy’s
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Rachel Cole Might Have Killed Someone in the MFA...
The last couple of weekends a select few of the writers in the program have been driving to Yale to break stuff and loot small trinkets from their literary department. In a recent post I said we broke a lion statue, but that was somewhat of a fabrication. At most, it was usually nothing more than peeing on door handles and breaking a few gates. At least that was the extent of it until Rachel...
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Brown MFA Killed 30,000 Zombies Last Weekend
This weekend everyone in the MFA program went to Fall River. It was free laser tag night in Fall River. I think the whole town was there. One guy had very long hair and a beard. Some of the poets began playing a zombie video game as soon as we got there. They shot about 30,000 zombies and made it to level 18. When the game asked for their name to record the high score they wrote, ‘Yale...
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Once We Drove to Yale and Effed Things Up
Sometimes when there’s nothing to do at Brown some of us in the MFA program drive to Yale and break stuff. Last weekend we threw some lion sculpture off a building. Afterwards one of the poets was running around wearing the lion head and swinging a baseball bat. The Yale public safety showed up after we were there an hour so we got in our car and thought about driving to Iowa, but decided to...
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If Kanye got accepted to an MFA program would his...
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I took this picture and thought, “This might be the worst cover for a book ever.” Maybe not.
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An email exchange with prospective student
A few days ago someone emailed me and asked me what the brown mfa is like. His name was Jason. I’ve changed his name for confidentiality. This was my reply:
Jason,
I am glad you contacted me. If you are accepted be prepared to get beat up. My first night here someone punched me in the face for no reason. I was sleeping and it was dark. I think it was Coover. I haven’t seen...
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Two MFA Stories
Two people workshopped their stories yesterday. It was a dual story project. Some girl named Jessica read her story first. Her story: “Dear Asia, what time are you going at the program? Right…I wanna get fck’d up LMAO. Yo, where’s my food at & he probably did forget & did he even call you? UGH yo I’m about to dip, but yeah.”
Asia read her story next. Her story: “Dear Jessica, Ur...
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Someone asked me what an MFA was
Most days are the same. Every day has been like the other one that already happened. There is little variety in the mfa program. Yesterday, I woke up at 4am. I talked to a poet online who hadn’t gone to bed yet. He said, ‘i saw a bug at rite aid.’ Then the poet went to sleep and I watched youtube videos until 7am. Then I took a shower. When I was done with the shower I watched a youtube...
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Brown MFA Business Cards
Steps (1-10) on how to write a book:
1. Be human.
2. Feed yourself.
3. Breathe oxygen.
4. Sleep.
5. Talk to something that will record will record your words.
6. Do something else.
7. Continue talking to something that will record your words.
8. Call your mother on your birthday.
9. Eat something you shouldn’t like a donut or a small calf or an ostrich egg.
10. Brush your teeth and...
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a photo essay: where mfa beards sleep
I think mfa beards are an interesting phenomena. I wish I could grow one. I can’t. Oh well. Two of the five poets in my year have beards. One of the five fiction writers has beards. Four of the ten mfa students in my year are female.
And who exactly is this bearded MFAer? Well, it’s Joshua Beckman. I later learned Joshua Beckman doesn’t have an MFA which is why...
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Everyone in the Brown MFA calls me 'Jimmy Buffet'
Yesterday, I had fiction workshop. The professor didn’t show up. Everyone in the class seemed pissed. The class meets once a week. Yesterday was supposed to be our fourth meeting. We haven’t ‘workshopped’ anyone’s story yet. Next Monday is Columbus Day. We do not have class. I think a lot of people in our class are beginning to think, “MFAs are bullshit.” I still feel pretty optimistic...
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I’m pretty sure everyone in the Brown MFA program...
I woke up today and walked to the bus stop. A street light had been knocked down in front of the pawn shop. Someone had run it over with their automobile. I text messaged one of the poets and said, “Were you drunk driving last night?” The poet replied, “LoL haha why?”
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I am writing a new novel called 'i ate dinner at...
Last night I was hungry because I hadn’t eaten dinner. I walked to 7-11 and bought a package of cookies and a big gulp. As I walked home and ate my cookies I thought, “When I make a blog post about this my mother will probably cry and think she failed.” Sorry mom, I did not really eat at 7-11 for dinner. You can stop crying. Also, I would appreciate it if you stopped reading.
Anyway, the...
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The brown MFA poetry department put me in the...
Two nights ago, I went to a poetry reading. I have gone to a poetry reading every night since I’ve moved to Providence. Most of them are similar. There is nothing else to do in Providence. Most poetry readings include one poet who only reads ‘your mom’ poems. ‘Your mom’ poems are funny the first time you hear one, but then they kind of get old. The first time I heard a ‘your mom’ poem I...